I’m having one of those moments that feels like I’m watching myself from afar like it’s a scene in a movie. I’m sitting in Gate 54 at Newark Airport ready to embark on another adventure. Every song that comes through my headphones seems to seamlessly fit into what would be the soundtrack of my life, filling me with a range of emotions. I look around and smile, taking this moment in. My life is good, really really good. I consider myself a fairly appreciative person but it’s moments like this that make me want to fall to my knees with a heart full of gratitude.
‘You got to start to begin’, that lyric just came running through my ears. One of my favorite authors, Rebecca Campbell, wrote “Your life is made up such poetry. If you listen before the sun rises you will hear The Mother crafting each word.’ I can hear it. I can see it – and man is it beautiful.
My first trip was the start. It was everything I could have asked for and more, yet it still wasn’t enough… But now I’ve begun. Call it the ‘travel bug’, call it ‘wanderlust’, call it whatever you want, but something inside of me came to life on that trip. Something that has always been there within me finally woke up. It was thrilling. I’ve lived a blessed life but recently I have fallen completely head over heels in love with my life.
I felt an intense calling to return to Bali, specifically Ubud and Thailand, specifically Chiang Mai and Pai. I sat with the idea of going back for a little. I quieted all the noise surrounding me and I just listened to my inner voice, that intuitive knowing. It turns out she’s pretty smart. She told me, “Just go for it. You know you want to go back at some point – why can’t right now be that ‘some point’.” There was no reason not to.
Learning to trust was one of my main intentions for that last trip – trust in myself, trust in my faith and trust in the universe. I learned that trust isn’t about believing. Belief is dependent on reason. Trust is beyond reasons. Trust is about faith. To trust is to surrender. Trust is love.
This intention, like most things, isn’t a once and done, cross it off the list task. It is a lifelong commitment. Every day I find ways to open deeper to surrender more but the foundation is there. I trust myself, but more importantly I trust God. I have surrendered my life to the Divine and His plan for my me.
I’ll be spending a month in Bali and a month in Thailand with no real agenda. I’m opening myself up to the flow of life and will see what unfolds.
My intention for this trip? May His will be done – through me, through my words, through my actions, through my love.